Ernie is a well-meaning young man, full of good intentions and limited prospects.
is Ernie’s wife and the new mother of their baby girl.
Spencer is Doris’ little rat of a brother, who thinks plastic dog poop is the finest invention of the twenty-first century.
Sid is Ernie’s ne’er-do-well uncle, and founder of the Piranha Club, a band of low brow, bumbling, would-be con men.
is Sid’s squeeze, amateur vocalist, and lousy cook. Peggy Lee and Julia Child are doing a pas-des-deux in their final resting places.
Dr. Enos Pork
is Sid’s best friend, member of the Piranha Club and the reason why malpractice insurance rates are so high.
Mother Packer is Enos’ mother-in-law and number one contender in the bantamweight division.
Arnold and Arnoldine Arnoldski are eighteen year old twins.
They are the two main reasons we should give up any hope for the future of mankind.
Rev. Bob is the hapless pastor of the Hallelujah Church of Bayonne and chaplain to the Piranha Club.
Sid wanted a pet he could relate to, so he got Earl, his beloved piranha and mascot of the Piranha Club. Earl’s appetite for anything edible (and to this fish, anything is edible!) is matched only by Sid’s appetite for unearned money.
Beardo is the jealous retired sideshow bearded lady who is married to Quacko the human duck.
Zerblat is from the Planet Grelzak and is joined by his ex-wife, Buffy, and their several hundred froglike children
Grandpa Fernwilter is Sid’s ex-con pop, and Shorty, his sidekick at the Cedars of Bayonne Nursing Home.
Bob the Zombie
Bob has a hard time adjusting to modern life. (Or death. Whatever.)